Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger

Author:Tracie Podger [Podger, Tracie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: New
Published: 2019-08-01T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

I hadn’t heard from Ronan, and that disappointed me. He knew it was the day of the appointment and, okay, I could have hung around a little later to speak to him before I left for the station, but then I would have missed my train, so I convinced myself.

“Oh, look at you,” Joe said, as I let him in the apartment.

I wore a cream suit with a black silk shirt. I thought a professional approach would be needed. Joe was in jeans and a sloppy T-shirt that didn’t smell too fresh.

“Did you go home last night?” I asked, sniffing him.

He cringed. “No, does it show?”

I snorted. “Yes, you stink. There’s some deodorant in the bathroom. Go and spray some over you.”

He laughed as he did just that.

We left the apartment, and I hailed a taxi. Joe had the address for an exclusive art gallery in Soho.

“So, what happened in Scotland?” he asked.

“First, I’m annoyed that you and Ronan had a conversation about me, without including me in that. I thought he was asking me because he liked me, not because you had told him I might be good staff,” I said.

“Good staff?”

I waved an annoyed hand. “Staff, great at doing admin, whatever it was you said.”

Joe turned a little diva on me. “I’ll tell you what I said. Ronan was worrying about trying to do it all himself. I said he should speak to you because you are brilliant at organisation, that’s all. I thought if the two of you worked together, it might spark something.”

I hummed, not entirely convinced. I then told him most of what happened, right to the point of leaving.

“Hold on, he was doing what?” Joe asked, stifling a laugh.

“Wanking, and I had to hide at the foot of the bed with the bloody photograph of his dead best love.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. The taxi driver frowned at me in the rear view mirror.

“What would you have done?” I asked the driver. If he wanted to listen in, he could add his opinion.

“Same as you, love. Except I might have left the photograph there and when he asked who covered him over, deny all knowledge of it. He would think he did it when he was drunk.”

“Yes, well, I didn’t think that much about it,” I snapped, annoyed I hadn’t done just that.

“You just wanted to see his willy,” Joe said. Both he and the taxi driver convulsed in laughter.

“You watch the road, and no, I didn’t want to see his willy.” I scoffed. “Who uses that word nowadays, anyway?”

“So have you spoken to him at all?” Joe asked.

“No, he lost his phone, remember? He had to get a new number, and I don’t have it.”

“And he won’t have yours, either, I bet,” Joe added.

I hadn’t thought about that. “I have Maggie’s, so once we’ve seen this art chap, I’ll call her.” I settled back into my seat while we fought the mid-morning traffic.

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